IF....

IF you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools: If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!' If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, ' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch, if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!                                           -Rudyard Kipling-  via Pinterest 

At 31, I still have a lot of "figuring out" to do.  I'm really no further in life than a couple of years ago and have made no giant strides to change much of anything in my life.  Instead, life has changed some things for me and for better or worse, I've tried to adjust.  But sometimes, I get tired of always being the one to adjust.  Sometimes I want to be the force that moves things (in this case...my life) along and in an entirely different direction.  Am I sad for the choices I have made in my life? Sure, in some matters.  But I'm also very realistic in knowing that "things" can not and will not be any different.  So again, I adjust.  I want different things at different times, then often drop the notion and plug along in everyday life. What does all of this mean?

Sadly, I don't know anymore than you do. 

Maybe it means I need to have a serious sit-down with myself and figure out what I really want and go get it.

Maybe I need a new hobby, something to spark my creativity.

Maybe I need to freak myself out and shake it up a bit by moving to a new town, house and job

or......

Maybe it simply means I need to go on a vacation.

Whatever "it" is I hope to find it