Thursday, December 22, 2016

Maybe..

     Many times I wonder if maybe, just maybe I gave up blogging way too soon. My first post ever was on 11/24/10 and I was so excited to start it.  But then one day it wasn't exciting or fun.  So I gradually gave up posting until one day, I just stopped and closed the doors so to speak.  Pictures were deleted from my phone, web links disconnected and like a house that was abandoned by it's owner, it became messy and forgotten.
     But I never really forgot this little blog all the way.  After all it was and  still is a little part of me I decided to share with anyone who dared.  I tried to resurrect it once in 2015...to no avail.  Somewhere in 2012 my messy life became a bit messier and ever since I've found myself floundering, trying to find my little tiny spot in this huge universe.  I still am.
    But maybe, just maybe this little-blog-that- could will help me in some odd way find my way.  I think I need all the help I can get.

Monday, March 23, 2015

Quick apple cake

Nothing could be easier than this recipe for quick apple cake.
It literally takes three ingredients: apples, a cake mix and butter.
I'm sure it would be just as good with any other fruit as well.
I had some apples that only tasted so-so and had been sitting on my counter.
I also happened to have an unused cake mix tucked away in my cupboard.
It seemed a perfect time to try the recipe out!


 If you're interested in trying it out for yourself, I found the recipe at the link above. I did adjust a few of the guidelines to suit my tastes and it turned out really well!
Here's what I did:
  •  Preheat the oven to 355 degrees F
  • Spray dish with non stick spray.
  • Slice apples into medium size bites and layer evenly, then sprinkle with a sugar/cinnamon mix
  • Evenly distribute half of a dry cake mix (I used a yellow cake mix) over the top
  • Melt half of a stick of butter then pour it evenly over the cake mix
  • Follow by adding a couple tablespoons of water to the parts of the mix that are still dry
  • Bake for 40-45 min.
  • Check halfway through baking.  If there are still portions that appear dry, add a bit more water and continue to bake.
  • Enjoy!

Home to my (limited) creativity

Our guest room/office is getting closer to being decorated and hopefully, done. There will be more pictures to come of that room later.
You see, yet another room is in the works. This time it's my "craft room."
This room used to be the computer/music/catch all room.  Since we have been simplifying our house and surroundings in general, we had this "bonus room."
My idea was to make it a room where I could scrapbook, sew or maybe even take a nap ( I can do that anywhere...)
So, I finally spent last Saturday finding a home for things and arranging them in a way that I could live with for the time being.
Afterwards, I even managed to sew a few little projects that have been piling up.
It has turned into a room I enjoy being in.
Anyway, here are a couple pictures of the room and what it was
(a room gone wrong if you ask me...)

  

The room is very small, so there really isn't much to it.  But it turns out, it's the perfect size for me!  I chose a light grey color on three walls, with the other white.  Eventually, I want to incorporate pink accents for a girly effect.  I also need to make some curtains, weed through a few more things, find homes for others and finally, hang some art.  Maybe down the road, new floor can be installed as well. But this is my crafty space for now. 


My dream is for my room to look like this, but I feel I have a long way to go:
via Pinterest

Flawed but not without hope

One of my favorite sayings used to be "I'm hopelessly flawed."  In fact I used it just the other day.  I liked to think it meant I was imperfect and could really do nothing about it.  But I've done "nothing about it" for quite some time.  I've found myself in a very deep rut, where I perform my daily activities in such a routine way that I could do it all in my sleep.  But there is no joy in doing so.  As a result, my life has been very much the same for several years now.
Boring.
I felt compelled to share this because it helps explain my absence in my blog, my lack of direction and lack of posts as a result. Somehow along the way, I've lost my way and very much lost myself.  I'm not so sure what makes me tick, what makes me hum anymore.  I have found it difficult to find joy or get excited about much of anything.
But today, after doing some reading and thinking (something I try to avoid..haha) I came to realize I'm not hopelessly flawed.  I have hope, even if it is in small doses and harder to find some days. 
I feel like I just woke up from a very long nap and know that I have to get up from it.  I just don't have a plan anymore and find it easier to stay still for a little while longer.  But while I'm still, I do know that I have to move forward.  There is no other way. Now I just have to find the way.
On the plus side, today is a day with hope.  I was finally able to talk to someone about where I am in my life and she helped me see that I do have power to take control of some things and that gives me more hope than you could possibly imagine.
My hope has always been there, I just have to dig for it and work at it more than I used to.
I now have a little more insight and am able to formulate more of a plan for myself.  (I can do nothing without formulating a plan, researching it, analyzing it, then dissecting it...so my plan will be quite the process.)
Now my new favorite saying is that I'm perfectly imperfect.  I have imperfection down to an art.  But instead of letting my imperfection and the regret, then the weight it results in pull me down, I've decided to fight.  I have the power to change things.
And I will.
One.little. step. at. a. time.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

I'm baaaaack!!

Over the year I've been absent, you (if there are still any yous out there) may have wondered:
Where has she been?
What is going on?
Why is she blogging? (is it still called blogging?!)
and for those of you who accidentally stumbled upon this blog looking for something else entirely:
Who are you?!
Let me answer the last question first: I'm Whitney and I'm back!  You'll have to stick around to find out more about me from my blog if you really want to know!
As for the other questions, maybe this little blurb will answer those pressing questions (because we ALL have them!)
To start, I really can't remember why I originally started blogging in 2010.  I just wanted to share!  Is that so wrong?  One thing I can remember though,  is that I actually enjoyed the blogging process for some time (3 years guys!!).  Then as if someone suddenly turned off a light, my joy for blogging stopped.  I was done.  I tried to keep it going for a while, but it (and let's be honest....life) felt strained and overwhelming.  I was burned out and desperately searching for something, anything to talk about that mattered.  But I couldn't find it.  I was lost.  So one day, I just stopped.  Not only did I stop blogging but I even stopped reading many of the blogs that for one reason or another inspired me to blog.  I  felt some relief for a while.  No more blog responsibility for me!  No more connection.  Whitney out!
I hung out around Facebook for a while, then got bored.  Not my thing.  But then I discovered Instagram.  Ah Instagram!  There I reconnected with friends AND bloggers I had missed out on for some time.  They inspired me to search out new and exciting ideas, places, etc. Only then did I feel the void my blogging hiatus had left.
Then a year later a friend and fellow blogger decided to start up her own blog and she inspired me to be brave and take on this blog monster again (check her blog out at: simplyfinelife.com).
So that's what I'm doing!  I'm trying to be brave and starting up this blog once again.
With that being said,  I'm looking forward to reconnecting with those of whom I've lost along the way and starting anew!
Because every day brings a new adventure! Why not start now?




Sunday, November 10, 2013

Betty Crocker's old timey bread

As of late, memories have become pretty important to me.  When the leaves have fallen and the slight chill of Fall has come to stay, one of the many memories that always comes to mind is that of my mom putting together homemade, white bread.  It was always almost magical to watch her add the yeast to the warm water, to be followed by salt, sugar and flour.  She would mix and knead and form it into the magical dough ball.  Then she would cover it and set it in front of the ol' wood stove and to rise. Then...the magic began. It would grow twice its size and all I wanted to do was at least touch it.  But I couldn't.  I wouldn't dare!  But that was my mom's job.  She would punch it down and let it rise. Just. One. More. Time.  Then my mom would put the dough into the oven and the dough began to transform into bread and the smell...OH the smell, was heavenly.  And the taste of warm bread with melted butter...almost sinful.

Anyway, when it gets cold outside, I think about bread.  THE bread.  This time, I couldn't just think of the bread.  I had to make it.  I found the recipe in a revised, yet still vintage, Betty Crocker cookbook.


 Some of my grandmother's best recipes have come from cookbooks of this vintage, so I couldn't pass it up.  If you're interested in trying it out, here's a link to the recipe I found: http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/gold-medal-classic-white-bread/20967ff8-467c-4445-99b4-b3a97a554dd2.

It made a pretty delightful smelling and tasting bread.  Try it out!  I think you'll be happy you did!  I am...








For those we've lost but will never forget

It's almost 1 in the morning and I'm sleepy, but not asleep.  I know I should go to bed, rest my messy head, but I can't.  I can't stop thinking about everything and nothing at the same time.  This post may not make any sense when I read it tomorrow, but I can't not write.

Yesterday and today, I had crazy-busy, fulfilling and productive days.  I felt like I accomplished things.  Little things and big things.  I was able to let people I both love and care about know I care in small ways through small acts.  Lately that seems to be all I can manage.  But I feel like it's more important to do that now, while I can. Also today, I went for a leisurely bike ride with Aaron, where I soaked up the last warm rays of fall before the cold sets in and had one of our chats that I've come to love.  Then, I came home and raked leaves, then baked bread from scratch.  So many of these things reminded me of moments from my past and little memories I had saved in my quickly-depleting brain.  But these memories, of crunching leaves and the smell of baking bread and the sounds of confidential talk are important.  They brighten things up a bit, you know?

It's good to be busy.  And to keep yourself busy.  But sometimes?  Sometimes all you want to do is just stop.  I don't mean this in a morbid, I want to end it all kind of way. Just a put your little, insignificant life on hold for a bit so that you can catch your breath, then really breath- deep satisfying breaths and start again, refreshed.  To pause and take time to notice the short but amazing small moments that make this life bearable.  They are called memories, and only you can make and keep them.  But really, all you can do, have to do, is just keep going.  Things will not be put on pause.  They won't even slow down.  Because, this messy, unpredictable life as we know it brings such joy and such sorrow.  Things (relationships, places, people) that were solid and impenetrable one day, are gone the next. Poof- just like that. And to this day, I'm not so sure how to handle it.  I've noticed I avoid and try not to think about these things, these feelings, because they make me sad...so sad.  But maybe that's not the best way.  Because when you stop moving, it's all there... still waiting for you.

Like my grandfather,  Papa.  He was born in 1919 so that makes him 94 now. Even though he has reached such a remarkable age, for the past couple of years, he has not been the Papa of my memory.  Slowly, but surely, he has left us.  Physically, he's still there.  But he has dementia (it smacks of Alzheimer's disease) that has ruined his once solid, detail oriented memory.  More than not, he doesn't know who my grandmother, Nanny, is anymore than he knows who I am.  Sometimes she is his sister, or my mom is not his child and I am his niece.  But we are not his "kin" or people he adores anymore. He used to tease us and torment us, but we always knew that he would give us the world if he could have. We are now strangers, always introducing ourselves to a man just as much a stranger.  We frustrate each other trying to make sense of it all.  It used to break my heart (even though I would put on a brave face and laugh it off) and I used to try to find ways to justify it one day or try to fight it the other.  But I can't anymore.  For now, it's the new normal and all we can do is wait.  All we can do is try to make the best out of the situation, take every day as it comes and just keep moving forward.  But I can never forget my good times shared with him and what a great Papa he has always been. Never.
My dear Papa, as I'll ALWAYS remember him

Another example is a dear friend in our congregation who recently lost her husband to cancer.  It moved fast and was ferocious and took him much too quickly. They were expecting it to take him, but really, who is ready to let go of a dear and loved one?  No one.  But they have good memories of him to hold on to. I have good memories of this man because he was an amazing husband and good, good man.  Again, all we can do now, is wait and cling to those memories.

Hmm? What's that you ask?  Wait? Wait for what? Wait for better times promised in the Bible.  Revelations 21:3, 4 promises that there will be a time when " he (God) will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.” I believe that as much as I believe the sun will come up every morning and give way to the moon every night.  Because without that hope and that promise, then what's the point of moving ahead? 

So for now, all I can do is cling to the good memories and continue to try my hardest to make more good memories for myself and others.  All we can do is cling to the  promises held out to us and pray for the strength and comfort to cope.  After all, that's the good stuff and what it (this crazy life) is all about.