There are a lot of ideas floating around out there about body image, health and the like. It's hard to know what to think...what to believe. One idea is that no matter what your size, you should be happy with it. I both agree AND disagree with that statement. I agree that you should never be ashamed of yourself, that what really matters is what is inside. But, when you get to a certain size or shape and have reached an unhealthy weight, things need to be reevaluated. The latter is where I'm at. I'm tired of feeling the way I do and have finally owned up to it that patterns and habits in my life need to change. I'm not super happy about my appearance and I also know that I am at an unhealthy weight.
So to start things up, a friend and I agreed to become accountable to each other. We report back and forth to each other about what we ate and the exercise we did for the day. We also have a weekly weigh in to keep us on track. We did this same routine back in 2011 and it worked really well!
Also to help me out, I signed up to do another 5K at the end of June with a group of friends. It's my "fitness goal." This race, the "Dirty Dash," also has obstacle courses so its something where I really need to get into good shape, but can also have fun with. I'm looking forward to it!
It's only 8 weeks away, so I've started an 8 week training program and have started (finally) to clean up my diet. So far, so good. I've already managed to lose 3 pounds!!
So...last week, I mentioned how I wanted to push myself outside of my comfort level.
I also mentioned that I signed up for "boot camp" at a local gym.
The class I signed up for is at 5:45 AM on Tuesdays and Thursdays, for six weeks.
Guess what? I actually followed through, got out of bed at 5:15 (unheard of) and went.
I'd been working out for TEN WHOLE DAYS and felt pretty confident that I would do just fine ( now that I re-evaluate this idea, I realize that idea is the definition for cray-cray).
We started out by warming up. It included jogging in place, then doing knee lifts while running, followed by jumping jacks. I was breathing harder, but figured I could handle it, and I did.
Then we then went straight into our first series of fitness tests (there were seven different ones) to see what level of fitness we're at. The idea was to complete as many reps we could within a minute, then rest for a minute in between each exercise.
Our trainer said we should push ourselves, but to be careful, because some people pushed themselves too hard and ended up puking. The rest of the class (all 5 of us) laughed a little. I thought, "how embarrassing."
But push it I did.
I made it through four different exercises, then things quickly went downhill.
The next exercise on the list was burpees. In case you don't know, burpees suck.
See?
I'm thinking of wearing this at my nest class...haha
At this point, I was huffing and puffing. Then my vision started to blur and my ears started ringing.
For me, this means something big is supposed to happen...like imminent death, or puking my guts out. I knew burpees would send me straight to death, so I told the teacher I had to step outside.
Then the dry heaves came.
(yes this is all true.)
I stood outside while the rest of the class made it through the beloved burpees. Then dry heave #1 came. Okay, whatever. It was a silent one. I didn't have time to eat breakfast before the class, so no harm, no foul. But soon afterward, the instructor came to prop open the door and tried to reassure me that not all classes would be this hard.
That's when dry heave #2 came, along with something that sounded like a Barney Gumble belch
(....again, as humiliating as it is....all true.)
Remember how I felt pity for the girl who actually puked and thought, "how embarrassing?" Well, I was so embarrassed, but also felt like I was going to pass out, so all I could manage to say was: "Sorry, " quickly followed by, "I think I'm going to pass out."
At that point, I couldn't believe I was that out of shape and lame. But I believe it now!!
She then told me to bend my knees and prop myself against the wall, so I did.
I managed to recover pretty well and was back inside for the next exercise, but then I decided to pace myself for the rest of the test.
Best. Idea. Ever.
Two other girls went outside and sat down and I felt a bit better about myself.
(after all, classes are all about comparisons, am I right?!)
But I was still the poor-dry-heave-loser of the class.
Oh well. Things could only get better from there. And they did. I reminded myself why I was there in the first place: to get in better shape. So, my only option was to do the best I could and keep moving.
45 minutes later, I managed to keep up with the rest of the class and even finish it!
45 minutes later every muscle group that I never knew I had was "worked out."
I went home flushed, sweaty, tired and sore and ready for the next class.
Fitness testing comes again in a couple weeks...we'll see how I do!
Do not be afraid, ye of faint heart! For this post is not about to get deeper than deep- it seems to worry friends and family when I "go there." Instead, this post in reality shall remain quite shallow.
You see, lately I've been looking forward, instead of behind. In doing so, I've come across several things I just can't seem to wait for.
But before I start my little ramblings, how bout a song that I pretty much love right now?
I KNOW if any of you listen to any commercial radio stations, you've most likely heard it.
But I still can't stop humming it:
And now for the things I look forward to:
FALL
Don't hate me, but the first thing I'm dying to see is Fall...no let's call it Autumn (it's so much more romantic that way.) Overall, I am not a fan of Summer. I'm tired of the heat and the blazing sun....it's just so hot!! Instead, I look forward to Autumn and what it holds for me: Crisp mornings and warm afternoons; kids preparing to go back to school and all the amazing school supplies waiting to be picked up in the stores; layering on clothing, grabbing a camera and some hot cider and taking in the amazing sights while walking through the crunching leaves; coming home, bundling up and eating some pumpkin pie and watching the new Fall lineup on TV. That is Fall in a nutshell.
Not that you can tell, but I've always been a bit obsessed with my hair. My motto as far as hair goes is to grow it out just to cut it short. I'd like to say I'm 100% a short hair or long hair person, but in reality, I'm both, with a little love for the medium length as well. And now? I'm choosing to be short/medium.
I miss curling my hair and doing things with it. It has been short for quite some time now!
As of today, this is kinda what I'm going for-but that could change anytime soon.
It always does.
TAKING A MUCH NEEDED TRIP
We haven't been on much of a trip since the early part of 2011. Don't get me wrong, we have taken a few weekend trips here or there but none of them have quenched my thirst for travel. Aaron and I have been talking over where we would like to go next. Should we stick close to home or leave the country, or both?!
That's what we (and our checking account) are trying to decide. A few options:
It is crazy how doing nothing, eating an awful lot and drinking beer regularly packs on the pounds. But I am here to tell you it does. I miss the energy and confidence I had when I was trying so hard almost a couple years ago now. So here's to another year fighting the fight. In roughly 6 months I will have another year of age to claim and another anniversary to celebrate. Why not start both of those by feeling and looking good (or at least better). My goal is to be both healthy and way smaller than I am today. Also to fit into every single article of clothing I've saved for when that day comes. Here goes! Yay.
Sometimes I feel like that may be what the treadmill I've been pounding would say (if it was ALIVE and it is not!)
This picture is completely the way I feel when on the treadmill.........
pinterest
Funny, sad and oh-so-true.
It is true. I have been using a treadmill. Sometimes an elliptical machine and today even a bike.
Do you know what that means? I finally joined a gym.
I was able to try out a 14 day membership and found that I actually liked it. This gym is a very small one and more my speed. And hey, nothing else has worked for me so I figured this may help me out.
But so far things have not gone well. You see, I don't have cute workout clothes. I ran my headphones through the washing machine. I suffer from tomato face (bright red face as a result of any physical activity). Oh and I've gained two pounds. What?!
Awesome.
I guess I need to start doing more than just working out (goodbye candy and schnapps laced hot cocoa...I'll be thinking of you......)
Remember how I posted at the beginning of last month about losing weight?
Yeah, me neither.
But I finally came to and realized that the days are already well into September. Where has the time gone? Wherever it is and to whoever used it, I WANT IT BACK!
Anyway, staying true to my word AND my original goal, I thought I would keep you posted.
I didn't do so very well.
In fact, some might say I'm doing terrible.
At the beginning of last month, I started out well- strong if you will and managed to lose 7 pounds only to spiral out of control again and regain 6.5 of those pounds.
Awesome.
So, the only other option I can see for myself is to begin again.
I'll let you know how that goes at the beginning of next month!
Remember what it was like to go to a lake, river, or even the ocean and run to the edge to dip your toes just to be shocked by how cold it was? For me it felt like a jolt that raced through my body and made me yank my toes back out. If you're like me, it also made me a little more apprehensive about doing it (or not) the next time. But sometimes it is better to just not think too much about it and to just go for it: to take the plunge or dive in head (or feet) first.
That is what I'm doing today.
I'm taking the plunge.
Because I'm still not sure of what direction this little blog is taking, I've decided to add one more category to the ever-growing list of possibilities:
Weight loss.
(yay?)
Why oh why would I take this on?
Well, for me my weight has always been, and probably always will be an issue.
Here are the stone-cold facts:
I've always been "chunky" or "stocky."
I LOVE food.
I lose weight just to regain it
and, I often play for team lazy.
Also I've read that if you "go public" about making changes such as trying to lose weight you are often more successful. The simple idea that others know makes you more accountable.
Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! I want to be successful, but I'm not so sure about accountable!?
And that's the reason I started this post out the way I did. It was my way of letting you know that this hasn't been an easy decision to write this post. Quite honestly I've written something along these lines several times to delete it and move on to another post. My ever-present weight issue is frustrating and embarrassing. I also have a feeling my weight is not a popular topic others will look forward to reading about. I know and get it.
But I think I'm doing it more for me this time.
You see, this same time last year I started a similar endeavor with a friend and we both did very well. We both lost a considerable amount of weight. But I didn't keep up on my exercise and eating better. I stopped exercising and then started making worse food choices.
Weight gain came with the poor choices and now I'm back to where I was last year.
Boo!
So I'm starting it up again!
Don't worry, this blog won't be a daily diary about what I ate and how I feel about what I ate and my choices. I don't even want to read OR write that.
Instead, I'm going to try to make 1 post a month to let you (or just me) know how I'm doing.
I also hope to be more active and to try more things, both activity wise and food wise. As I said, I LOVE food, so instead of eating nothing but rice cakes the rest of my life I also plan on trying out more healthy recipes and lightening up some old favorites.
I see it as hopefully making life changes instead of quick weight loss from diets or crazy exercise.
So without further ado, here's the first month picture:
I'm not super comfortable releasing my "start weight" but I'll definitely let you know how much weight I've lost and maybe (just maybe) let you know my start weight as I get the feel for how this idea is coming along.
